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Here’s your chance to be a comic
for a day! Just email us with one of your original jokes,
and if it's funny, we'll post it.
Ancient Proverbs
"Virginity like bubble. One prick-all gone!
"Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife
upright organ"
"Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to
Bangkok."
"Man trapped in whore house get jerked around."
"Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails."
"Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!"
"Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it."
"Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!"
"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's
left."
"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat
house."
"Man who sleep in cathouse by day, sleep in doghouse by
night."
"Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!"
"If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people."
"It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill
it."
"Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!"
"Man who sit on tack get point!"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"
"He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs."
Marcella Moore
Wrong Flavor
A man was doing a study of children's senses in a first-grade
class using a bowl of Lifesavers. He gave the children
all the same kind of Lifesaver and asked them, "What is
the flavor, and what color is it?"
The children began to say, "Red . . . cherry . . . yellow
. . .lemon . . . lime . . . green . . . orange . . . orange."
Finally, he gave them all honey Lifesavers. The children
suck on them for a while, but can't decipher the taste.
"Well," he said, "I'll give you a clue. It's what your
mother would call your father."
One little girl looked up in horror, spit hers out,
and yelled, "Everybody spit it out, they're assholes!"
Anonymous
Why did the turtle cross the road?
mmm...to go to the shell station.
Three Wishes
Three
women were out golfing one day and one of them hit her
ballinto the woods. She went into the woods to look
for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said
to her "If you release me from thistrap, I will grant
you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, who said
"Thank you, but I forgot to mention that there was a condition
to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will
get 10 times more or better."The woman said "That would
be okay ," and for her first wish she wanted to be the
most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her "You do realize that this wish will
also make your husband the most handsome man in the world,
an Adonis, that women will flock to him..." The woman
replied "That will be okay, because I will be the most
beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me ."
So, poof! She's the most beautiful woman in the
world.
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman
in the world. The frog said "That will make your husband
the richest man in the world, and he will be 10 times
richer than you." The woman said "That will be okay, because
what is mine is his, and what is his is mine." So,
poof, she's the richest woman in the world!The frog then
inquired about her third wish, and she answered "I'd like
a mild heart attack...."
Andre
A new teacher was trying to make use of
her psychology courses. She started her class by saying,
"Everyone who thinks they are stupid standup!"
After a few seconds, little Johnny stood
up. The teacher looked at him and asked, "Do
you think you are stupid, Johnny?" "No Ma'am, but
I hate to see you standing there all by yourself
Nicole
The
Black SAT
5
Points each (85 points neededto pass)
1."Boy/Girl if
you keep it up, I'll slap the ________ right out of your
mouth!"
2."Papa was
a ________ stone."
3."Who in the hell left the ______; _______ ."
4.What are
the two words that we all know to be "fighting words"?
5.What was
being sat on while watching the tide roll away?
6.For this one, you have to think like a Jamaican, what
two things come before "Tree"?
7.What do
we pass the "Dutchie" on?
8.Finish the
phrase " Peace, Love and _______ ."
9.Who recorded the song Popcorn Love?
10.Ron
O.Neil played what character? And who produced the soundtrack?
11. "You have 2 choices, the ________ or the window?
12.What day of the week did we become familiar with Smokey?
13.Name the Hit TV show that stared Dwayne Wayne and Sinbad.
14.What
TVshow did we first see Martin Lawrence in?
15.Bill Cosby and which other actor starred in "Uptown
Saturday Night"?
16.Who
was Jo-Jo Dancer?
17.What
type of meat is usually associated with Friday?
18.When you were younger, what tool usually accompanied
the old floor model TV?
19.Before your
Mom took you to the grocery store, she usually had to
remind your black ass to do what?
20.What one word did Florida Evans repeat 3 times when
James died?
ANSWERS:
1.TASTE
2.ROLLING
3.GATE OPEN
4.YOUR MAMA
5.DOCK OF THE BAY
6.1 AND 2
7.ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE
8.SOUL
9.NEW EDITION
10.SUPERFLY.THE LATE CURTIS MAYFIELD
11.STAIRS
12.FRIDAY
13.DIFFERENT WORLD
14.WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW
15.SIDNEY PORTIER
16.IF YOU DON'T KNOW THIS I'M NOT TELLING - YOU FAIL!
17.FISH
18.THE PLIERS
19.NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING!!
20.DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!
For
more info or to book a show contact us at info@BlackComedyTour.com
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